i think i lost the girly/manly competition. these are the manly things my friend did at work today: open doors, let girls go in front of him at the restaurant, held the chair to the girl next to him, sat down the last. and these are the girly things i did at work today: nothing.

i think i was a bit girly after work though: i was late meeting my husband, so he had to wait in the snow. i wasn't strong enough to open the car door that had frozen, so my husband had to help me (i'm not girly enough not having to tell you that i probably could have opened it myself if i had only tried, though). i didn't sweep the snow off the porch when we got home. i didn't fix the broken windscreen wiper of the saab, and i didn't shift to the repaired tire.  ¶ 8:52 PM

  challenge

a friend of mine just challenged me to act more girly tomorrow (he'll act more manly. ...it might be fun if he was to act girly too... that will have to be next time:). so, tomorrow i'm supposed to act less "i can do everything myself and don't need help from anyone" and more silly and helpless (and, apparently, more sexy. which i very much doubt will work in my case). i think i'm too childish to act as a "proper girl"... i'm too much of a five-year-old; i need to be able to do everything myself, and i'm much too stubborn to ask for help. we'll "meet" again tomorrow, and evaluate our results.  ¶ 7:35 PM

  it's snowing! wasn't the summer supposed to start now?  ¶ 11:42 AM

  summertime
lost an hour tonight, the sun is shining, we had breakfast in front of the tv, watched a horror video under a blanket with a cat on my stomach and a capuccino in my hand, went for a short walk and felt the sun "warm" my face, and right before we went in again i thought i could sense that first rotten smell of spring. but it might have been just my imagination.

they had a fishing competition on our lake today. i guess i'm exaggerating, but i think it's frightening that people think it's fun to catch fish and kill them just for fun. they don't even eat them, they just want to catch as many as possible.  ¶ 2:19 PM

  the girls left early this morning. it has been nice having them here for a while, even though it hasn't been the best time for having visitors. or maybe it has... we went for a walk on the ice, and to the abandoned caravan on the hill, and to the little house in the woods where the sun is always shining, and to the stjärtlapping hill. i didn't really want to do any of it, as the old bob always used to come with me to those places, but i also didn't want the girls to be completely bored. if they hadn't come i probably wouldn't have left the house at all. so, i guess this was a perfect time to have visitors, when i think about it.  ¶ 7:19 PM

  the toyota and i had to rescue the husband, the girls and the saab in sollefteå today, as the saab had a flat tire (or rather two, as the spare one was flat too)  ¶ 10:50 PM

  my plants are sweet little people. they don't get much water, and i don't protect them against either sun or cold, but some of them keep on surviving year after year... and today i saw that one of the brave geraniums in the kitchen has a new bright white flower. i will have to give them some water one of these days, and thank them for being so nice to me.  ¶ 7:34 PM

  my youngest sister and one of her friends are staying with us this week. they are working in an ica shop in sollefteå for a week, as a school assignment. sunday was the sister's birthday, so she had birthday cake in bed for breakfast. then the girls had a foot bath and tea, while writing in their diaries for school. we also went stjärtlapping down the stjärtlapping hill, and down the hill outside our kitchen window.  ¶ 11:38 AM

  i am now bob-less... :( 10-15 minutes after the playing in the snow yesterday his legs or back or something started to hurt. a lot. and he couldn't stand on his hind legs. the vet said it could be a slipped disc in his back, but she wasn't sure. whatever it was i didn't find the decision too difficult. i've never seen him in so much pain before, and i never want to see it again. so all the crying and head ache is just for me, not for him. i don't think he could have ended his life in a much better way than he did. tap dancing and singing in the morning, running up our hill on his old legs, some left-over minced meat for breakfast... but even though i'm glad for him, that he didn't have to suffer a lot, and that he could be happy all the way to the end, i can't stop crying. i saw myself in the mirror this morning, and i promise it wasn't a pretty sight...  ¶ 8:31 AM

  it's 8.57 and it's my day off. and i've had time to go for a morning walk and put the tea kettle on. i had planned to sleep till at least 10... but a short while ago i realised i'm glad to be up.

reasons i'm glad to be up this early on my day off:
it's a beautiful day, with sunshine, white snow, singing birds, fat furry horses breathing smoke through their noses, pale blue/grey sky, smoke from the chimneys, the mountains hiding behind grey/white mist. and my sweet old dog woke me up with a step dance and a song, to go out and play in the snow :)  ¶ 8:58 AM

  i love listening to the old bob snoring. it sounds so peaceful. i hope i snore like that :)

he's going to the dog doctor tomorrow, to have a look at his old legs... he's been having some trouble with them lately, especially this last week. but this weekend they have been much better. probably because it's been so warm. it's been around 0 during the days, both yesterday and today, and we've been able to go for real walks for the first time in a week. that felt great! i don't want him to become old :( i'm hoping the vet will give him a pink pill that will make him 2 years younger...


the small one behind the big bob is killer, the cocker spaniel  ¶ 8:26 PM

  note: part of this post has been censored (on the request of a party) i won't tell you which part (or which party), though :)

two spring signs today:
* the sun rose above the mountains on the morning walk today. yippi!
* i only snoozed twice for the first time in ages
still doesn't feel a bit like spring, though. veeery cold and snowy.

had a whole bag of coca cola and a hug. probably the last birthday presents i get this year :) i think you should have at least two birthdays a year when you get this old... so you can get more gifts. so i'm probably going to have a second birthday sometime this summer.

today is international women's day. i celebrated by forcing a colleague/friend to give me 5 sekr to buy a chocolate ball to the afternoon coffee. i'll give the money back tomorrow, when it's no longer the women's day and i don't have to feel i need to celebrate anymore.

tommy just told me we've had a niece today. i think they're going to name her ida. i'm going to celebrate with some coca cola. and a chocolate ball. i like chocolate balls. :)  ¶ 7:28 PM

  i've got my very own little pupil at work :)
or, she's not really my own, i have to share her with some of my colleagues. but at first she's going to be all mine. 22 new colleagues started working yesterday, and as i'm no longer a beginner at this i decided i'm grown up and experienced enough to be one of the mentors for these new employment service advisers (i had to look up what we are called in english...:). and today we got to meet them for the first time. she turned out to be nice, and it was nice to remember how exciting it all felt, a loooong time ago when i was new too.  ¶ 7:42 PM

  i love how the cats' noses turn a darker shade of pink when it's cold. makes me think winter is quite a cosy season after all.  ¶ 7:32 PM

  i'm a bad bad person... i'm right now in my pyjamas, brushing my teeth, on my way to bed with my wonderful book, feeling quite all right with life and everything at the moment. two of my best colleagues/friends are working until 22 tonight. and it feels good to think about... that they are working out there in the darkness, while i'm comfortably at home, getting ready to go to bed. of course there are always some of my colleagues working nights, but i don't really think of the ones that i don't also consider my friends. if i had been a nice person i guess the thought of my friends working late would have made me sad... so right now i'm happy i'm a bad person :)  ¶ 9:19 PM

  bad imagination

i have good imagination. but i often tend to imagine bad things... on our way home from a visit to tommy's brother and his family yesterday i kept seeing car crashes in my head. an elk running up in front of the car. someone falling asleep in a meeting truck. and, worst of them all, bob flying through the windscreen, then lying badly injured on the ice cold road, and i would have to sit beside him and try to keep him warm, while waiting for the police or a hunter to come and shoot him. it was a good thing it was dark, so i wouldn't have to explain to tommy why i was crying.

new subject:
i don't like it when parents teach their children to kiss people. when we were leaving tommy's brother's home yesterday they told their son oskar to kiss everyone goodbye. and he did. on the mouth. yuk! i can't see the cuteness in a drewling child with a wet face kissing you... i think it's almost as repulsive as being kissed by a dog. but i like oskar. he's the best nephew i have :)  ¶ 9:20 PM

  i've uploaded some more photos to flickr. now all the ones taken with the father's digital camera are there. some of the photos taken with our own cameras came back from the lab yesterday, and i'll get them out once i've felt like scanning them... which might take a while (or two :)

i'm home from work today. suffering from severe menstruation (i know i'm whining, but i always feel i'm going to die when i get it). i never do though, which is good :) i've spent the morning in bed and on the sofa, with a hot water bottle and a cat or two on my stomach and coca cola within reach.

i don't know if i'm really grown up yet... the birthday cakes tasted and looked like real birthday cakes, made by real grown up people (if i may say so myself. my friends said they did too, but there's always the chance they didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me the truth...). since the birthday i've also:
* made coffee (for guests, it'll take a few more years before i'm grown up enough to make it for myself)
* been given some more plants, and a bottle of wine (which i think are grown up gifts?)
* baked chocolate balls (maybe not very grown up... but at least i was baking)
* cooked (!!). i visited a colleague/friend after work yesterday, and we had dinner together. and i helped making it! and it tasted like real dinner! i'm so proud!! (maybe not very grown up to be proud of cooking... but the fact that i was cooking must be a big step towards being a grown up?)  ¶ 3:26 PM