i have heard that children are worse than dogs and cats when it comes to waking you up early in the morning and keeping you awake until it's too late to even think of falling back to sleep again. i really want to believe that's true! because then i can console myself by thinking that there are others out there who suffer more than me.

the big fat cat sleeps on my face at nights, which is a bad start. then early this morning the little angry cat decided to tear down the flowers and shit we have in the bedroom window. after a while i gave up and let the cats and the pup out to pee, let the big fat cat back in and fed him and cleaned his toilet so he could pee, and let him out again.

the big fat cat is not only big and fat, he is also very slow. his morning procedure is often enough to make it impossible to go back to sleep again. but this morning i decided to try, and went up to pull and drag and shovel the pup away from my pillow. he was fast asleep with the weight of concrete and the consistensy of jelly. and his snowy paws had made wet spots on my sheet. but i was tired and it was still dark, so when i pulled the cover up to my chin and hit the husband to make him stop snoring i was happy and pleased and planned to sleep at least two more hours. fifteen minutes later the pup woke up and was boooored. i forced the husband to deal with it as he slept til 10.30 yesterday and never even wakes up even though we have cats and pups hanging from the curtains.

the husband's way of dealing with a bored pup: take him out for a pee, and then put himself in front of the computer with his back towards the rest of the world, put his gigantic headphones on and turn the music up. nothing can get his attention when he's in that mood. so the pup tortured the cats for a while, then he took one of my shoes and ran up the stairs and threw it in my head, jumped up in the bed and made sure he landed right in my stomach, started digging a hole in my thigh, and cried and cried and cried. i put a pillow over my head to shut out the crying, and borrowed the husband's cover to get an extra shielding layer. the pup went downstairs to get a LOG and threw it in my head. i tried the bear-trick and pretended i was dead so he'd go away and find someone else to torture. but then he lay down on top of my and turned the log into very very small pieces of wood that he spread all over the bed. while crying.

next weekend i'm thinking of sleeping in the basement.  ¶ 10:43 AM