i don't think i'm ever going to get used to nights like this. it's dark and cold and the sky is clear and the moon is big and strong and makes everything different shades of blue and the shadows very sharp and the stars are so many it makes my head spin. and everything is quiet. i walk around with my mouth open and my ears are working so hard to listen for sounds it feels like i can hear how they work. i must look like a complete fool. i walk slowly, looking at everything and listening to everything. and the blue light makes everything look like a picture in a children's book. and it's so quiet it feels like the world has stopped and i'm the only thing that's real. and the bob, of course. i wonder if he feels the magic too... he doesn't seem to mind me walking slowly, stopping to look and listen and feel. it's a good thing there's so much horse shit around, so he has something to do while waiting for me. i really needed a night like this.  ¶ 10:16 PM